Pandemic experiences part 1 – Lockdown 1.0

If you’ve lived under a rock for the past year or have just been woken up from cryogenically induced sleep, the world as we once knew it seems like a distant memory. The COVID-19 pandemic has limited our lives quite a bit. It has taken an immeasurable toll on families that have lost loved ones as well as a mental toll on those that are working on the frontlines fighting this pandemic. As many have said before, we owe you a debt of gratitude (I’d like to see frontline workers properly rewarded as opposed to a symbolic calp).

Before I get on my political high horse, the thing I wanted to share were experiences living in the pandemic. I wanted to write this as honestly as I could, but also as concisely as possible to summarise the past 12-months of the strangest of times. This turned out to be a longer text than planned, so it will be released in sections: Lockdown 1.0, Lockdown 2.0 and Lockdown 3.0

Lockdown 1.0:

Before my country of residence (UK) was placed on lockdown, the company I work for moved all of us to work remotely at the end of February. I thought that this would be a short term thing and early indications were that things were going to go back to normal quickly. Haw Haw. How wrong was I.

When the government announced the lockdown of all non-essential facilities on the 23^rd of March, I started with a sense of relief. Before this, we were always on the go. There were very few free weekends. During the week, I’d get back home from work, eat dinner, play with the kids, do bed time and head to the gym. During the week, I felt like my home was kinda like a hotel that I just slept at.

After about two weeks into the Lockdown, I started to struggle. As I’ve detailed in the past, I’ve struggled with mental health issues and the isolation of being at home and not able to train properly or seeing people started to grind me down. It was the lack of routine and not getting a daily release from exercise that really wore me down. That combined with the daily news briefings that offered little to no hope of a better future.

During this time my mental health collapsed to the point that on one of the rare times, I bothered to workout in my garage, I was looking at the beams and picked out the one that I would hang myself off of. My head was telling me that I didn’t want to be alive anymore. My past struggles with these issues told me that I needed to open up to someone, or else I would really be hanging from the beam. My friends and family were a massive help in all of this and really helped me through the dark time, whether it was checking in, or just by sharing a joke on WhatsApp or text.

Those small touches really helped me through. It was difficult to see the kids struggle as well. Stripped of their routine and with no structure to their days with the absence of distance learning, my daughter reverted to drawing on the walls and furniture to get attention she wasn’t getting due to having to work full time. My son who is older, didn’t start doing that, but he was open with us that he was struggling with the isolation and not seeing his friends or having his hobbies. He’s a really active and social kid, so having all of that taken away from him hit him hard.

In the years to come, I worry about the impact that the lockdown has had on their learning, but also on their mental health. Being exposed to such drastic measures at such a young age will certainly leave a psychological scar in many people, that I fear will develop into a pandemic of its own in the years to come.

With my own routines disrupted heavily and falling to the grips of depression also impacted a variety of things during the first lockdown. I began drinking heavily and nearly daily, just to escape the dull mundanity of life. For those that don’t know me, I get drunk maybe 3-4 times a year. This time I was getting hammered every week, sometimes even mid-week. Where we did try and go for walks and stuff during the weekend and there were weekly quizzes, they weren’t enough to give me the hope of something better coming along.

Normally during spring, I draw my energy from it being light and on the rare occasion that the sun is out, I get a boost from that. In my mind, I had hoped that once we got to May time, my mood would get better. However, there was none of it. In other times, I would get this energy to workout and to improve my physique and get ready for the hockey season. Now as the sun was out I grew depressed that I was not able to use this time to effectively train and to get into shape. With the rumours circulating from the league and leagues above, it grew more and more likely that we were not going to have a 2020-2021 season. There was literally no reason for me to do anything.

Despite being at home, and seemingly having more control over my time, my eating habits slipped. Combined with my declining mood, lack of exercise, my diet slipped to eating at irregular times and eating whatever was quick to make. I was so dedicated to work as it was distracting me from the dullness of life that I worked late into the afternoon and the would eat some toast as to anything nutritious. With not spending money on anything apart from groceries, we had money to have takeaways and as usually happens with depression, junk foods give you that feeling of euphoria and you just crave more. So yes, my weight went up and physique changed. Something I regret to this day.

There were some bright parts as well. At least when the restrictions were eased, we were able to go away for a holiday back home in Finland. Even when there we ensured that we kept to our bubble and only saw grandparents at the end of our stay to ensure that we did not develop any symptoms post travel.

Where getting away from the UK for a couple of weeks was welcome, it was bitter sweet at the same time. Being back home was like going to utopia. Things back home were much closer to normal life in comparison. To this date, Finland has recorded less than 700 deaths during the pandemic and comparatively, the rates of infection remain relatively low on a day-by-day basis.

So come July and things were opened up and life, to be fair, started to feel more normal again. I had pretty much accepted that hockey was not going to happen, despite clinging on to the hope that it would be. I was able to start working out again and using the glimmer of hope that there would be a season drove me to actually do something. It was also refreshing to go out somewhere. Even if it was just a trip to the local mall (shopping centre) felt like a welcome break from reality.

In the first few weeks I wasn’t really flexing my muscles or anything, but just the clarity of mind that regular, vigorous exercise gave me. I know it’s often easy to say that exercise will be good for your mental health. For me it works, but I know that for some it’s not a cure or a “pick-me up”. I know full well from personal experience the struggle it can be to get into habit of exercising or doing anything when you’re severely depressed. It works for some and it not for others. For me personally, it is a lifesaver.

By July, I was somewhat accustomed to working from home and had developed ways of getting some variety in my days, but my eating habits were still all over the place. My lunches weren’t particularly nutritious or well timed. Looking back on it, it’s peculiar as when working in an office, I had a regimented pattern that I would pause for lunch at a certain time and I would actually look at what I ate. I still haven’t figured out why it all went so horribly wrong when we moved to work from home and whether it was all down to my overall mood, that I was seeking comfort from just eating whatever made me feel happier. Probably, but it’s not like I changed anything too drastically.

Then there was the opening of the rinks. I was able to get some ice with a local rec team to get back into skating, again with a view of being ready if there was a season. It provided some semblance of normality that things that kept me grounded and that were part of my personality were still there to be enjoyed.

From July onwards, life was easier as I had access to the things that kept me going. My fitness journey started to show results and I started to feel better about life in general. However, as we know, when summer turned to autumn, we were in for a rougher ride.

From the Ashes I Rise

It has been a long time since I wrote anything on the blog (in fact last time was in 2017) but over the past month or so, I’ve had the urge to start up again.

Before we dive into the stream of consciousness, I feel like I owe you an explanation as to why the blog fell silent. The blog was started way back when as a way for me to analyse my performances in hockey games and how I can best develop as a player. It was an outlet to vent frustrations I had of myself and so on. Since then it evolved to talk about all things hockey and started to include product reviews, which I loved doing.

However, I thought that I would try and monetize the blog and draw an income off of it. This was ultimately its downfall. In fact, it seems it is a downfall of everything I think of monetizing. It didn’t feel natural anymore and started to transform into a full-time job with no pay next to my ACTUAL full-time job. As my job already involves a lot of writing and content editing, the last thing I wanted to do was write some more when I got home. I still love playing and absolutely miss being on the ice and with my team, but the blog was just that stretch too far to think of click baity articles.

The biggest reason was that, I had two young children that I wanted to spend time with and I wasn’t actually “living and breathing” hockey as much as I was before. I still have the kids by the way. It’s not like I sold them on eBay. The kids are bit older now and with the pandemic, I have a bit more free time at my disposal.

So I’m bringing it back. But this time, I’m taking no pressures over it, much like with my social media platforms. I’m not obsessing over readership numbers, I’m not stressing over a content schedule, I’m not going to lose sleep about how many clicks an article might drive. I’ll just write this as a personal thing as and when I feel like I have something to say and feel like writing.

I would love to do some more gear reviews in time, but those might be difficult as I’ve not kept in touch with the manufacturers in nearly 3-4 years. We shall see where we’ll end up with that.

In the main, I want to keep this as a journal about my progress again. I have a particular goal in mind that I want to achieve, and want to use the blog and my Instagram account as ways of tracking my progress and my thoughts throughout the journey.

So if you’re tuning back, welcome and sorry the blog fizzled out. If you’ve decided to move on to different content streams, no hard feelings. If you’re a new reader. Welcome.

#offseasonproblems

****This was written originally in July, but given issues with laptop I’m only publishing this no

Every day is arm day

w. The one thing that may have changed is the body fat %, as I’ve been mostly sitting in my underwear eating Haribo. Oh and I’ve started skating.***

So as we are hurtling towards the start of the season, I thought it’d be a good chance to update on the struggles that hockey players go through every summer, otherwise known as off-season problems. Summer is obviously a chance to take some R&R time from the game and kick

 

 

back, but it is also the time when you build the foundations for the year ahead.

I thought that after the season was over I’d give myself a good chance to rest and

Progress in mid July

recover, both physically and mentally. I had planned on a two week break once the season had wrapped up, but that didn’t really go to plan. I got bored after a couple of days and started doing light workouts and then after a week, I was fully vested into my off season workout plan.

 

In terms of strength and conditioning, I am using a program that I’ve used for the past two summers, so this is the 3^rd summer I’m using this particular routine. Last summer I added 3kg of muscle, so I thought that it’s the right program. Plus given the fact that I’m at 100% health and not having to contend with any injuries, I felt I’d be able to push harder at the gym.

 

I’ve not just been a meat head for the summer. I have spent time with my family too

Additionally to the program I’ve added few layers to it, to improve my grip strength as it supposedly helps with shot velocity (and who doesn’t want bigger fore arms) and speed workout which I’ve been carrying on in parallel to the strength and conditioning workout. Last season I felt that the strength and conditioning side worked well, but I wanted to add another level to training. With the league getting harder, it’s important to respond to the increase in competition in the right way.

 

The speed workouts really work on the ‘engine’ of the hockey player, so it’s focussed on the glutes, hamstrings, quads and core. That is where your speed is generated and given my history with back injuries the last two seasons, I felt that I need to improve this area in my body. Besides, who knows, maybe it will help me look better naked.

 

What has been different about the off season so far is that I’ve not really thought about

I also drove a bunch of fast cars. Didn’t get killed or kill any cars. 

hockey while I’ve been working out. I’ve been doing it because it has been fun and it has been a journey of self-discovery again. I’ve found that I’m able to push myself more and more and I’m actually finding enjoyment out of seeing that puddle of sweat by my feet at the end of the workout. I think, in comparison to last summer, I didn’t go to those levels with training.

 

One philosophy that I’ve carried with me subconsciously, though, is that the off season is still competition. You are building for the season ahead, but you are also competing against your future team mates by wanting to be fitter than any of them and you want to make sure that you claim your spot on the roster. That is one of the reasons that hockey is such a fascinating sport. You compete all year round, in the summer, against your teammates and then you put all of that aside and you compete with those guys to help your team win. It is a never ending competition.

 

So what about the results from the training then?

 

Well, to the end of June, I had slashed my body fat % by 3% to get it sub 10% for the first time since before my back went. I’ve maintained the muscle mass that I had, but I feel quicker, if that makes sense? I’m yet to skate, but whenever I’m doing sprints, my legs feel lighter and I feel like I’m producing more power through my legs. One shall see when I hit the ice whether that feeling is all in my head, or whether it is all results.

 

The next steps are to start skating. Whenever regular training starts, I want to have the cobwebs worked out of the system. Simultaneously to this, I’m going to start working on some stickhandling stuff. I’ve got hands like cement blocks so if I can soften my touch a little bit that should all help. It will be interesting getting back on the ice. I’ve not skated since April, so I’m bound to be rusty as anything. It’s the first four sessions that are the worst and after that it starts getting easier.

 

Until it does, I’m dreading those four sessions.

 

First impressions: Warrior Alpha QX Stick

We had an opportunity to try the all new Warrior Alpha QX Stick recently. Similar to the QRL review last year, this is a quick overview of our thoughts on the new top of the line stick. The Alpha QX range replaces the outgoing Dynasty range of sticks. These first impressions are based on about 45 minutes of tinkering with it. The stick was tested in dry land conditions only and for shooting.

 

Upon picking up the stick it feels incredibly light. The stick weighs in at 410 grams, which isn’t the lightest stick on the market but on hands it definitely feels a lot lighter than it actually is. The stick is finely balanced and feels good on the hands. The one thing that we found a bit uncomfortable to begin with was the grip coating. It felt ‘stickier’ than other sticks that we’ve tested in the past, but this again is a matter of preference. Warrior says that this grip is to improve accuracy and control.

 

One of the other things we noticed when we first held the stick is that the contour of the shaft is also new and at first felt a little different to ‘conventional’ hockey sticks. The best way to describe the shaft and the contour is a mash between the old elliptical design on the Easton S19 and CCM’s Octo-Gun sticks. However, it isn’t as radical as those two.

Warrior says that this is to help with stick handling and shooting (we’ll get to that later). The Alpha QX is a low kick point stick and differs from the QRL in that the kick point is slightly higher. The aim has been to make shot release even quicker on the Alpha QX.

The stick that we tested was an 85 flex with W05 (Granlund) blade pattern, which has a 5 lie and a 9/16 heel curve. Normally we would prefer a 75 flex but the 85 flex stick gave us a good enough impression on what the stick is capable of.

 

We only tested the stick on dry land for shooting, but it did impress us quite a bit. One of the first things we look at in any stick is the feel for the puck how well the blade feeds back to the shaft/hands. On the Alpha QX the feel is what you would expect from a top of the range puck. You can stick handle comfortably knowing that the puck is on the blade and not having to spend too much time looking down to the puck.

 

Shooting is where the stick reveals its worth. You can comfortably release slap-shots and wristers and get the feeling that there is more ‘oomph’ behind the shot. We’ve experienced this with the likes of TRUE X-C 9 sticks. The stick is easy to load and especially using it for one timers (using a Hockey Shot Passing kit PRO) you can really unleash some heavy shots with the stick. Wrist shots feel like they come off the stick with ease and you can really tell the improvements made for quickening the release. In shooting, there wasn’t much of a wobble on the puck and it comes off clean from the blade.

 

There is a durable feel to the shaft. Thanks to an all new construction method, the stick is now stronger, which translates into your shooting confidence. You can easily lean into one-timers with the stick without the fear of the stick breaking. For example with the Sher-Wood Rekker EK-15, the stick feels just so light your natural instinct is to hold back a touch. Not so with the Warrior, you can lean into shots with your hearts content.

 

The big downside for the Alpha QX? The price. The stick is set to retail at $300/£200/€240, so it is not the cheapest top-of-the-range stick on the market. Then again, you do get a lot of performance for the money.

 

Conclusion:

Where our time with the stick wasn’t that long, it did provide us with a good idea of what the stick is capable of. The Warrior Alpha QX is a real shooter’s stick and we would love to do an indepth review of one on the ice to really put it through its paces, but just from dry-land shooting experience the stick is impressive piece of engineering.

 

The only things that we found bugged us slightly were the grip and the new shape of the stick, which with more time I’m sure would not be a massive problem. However, as said, at the moment, the only downside that we can see is the price tag of the stick. Yes you do get a high performance stick for that money, but it is a lot of money to invest in a product that is most at risk of breaking in the game of hockey.

 

What has hockey given me?

This is a question that I’ve pondered on and off for a long time. Maybe part of it is that during conversations with family and non-hockey playing friends I often get asked why do I still play, despite my rather lengthy list of injuries and the commitment hockey takes.

 

As a player, I’ve lived by the ethos that I will do anything that the team asks of me and commit myself 100% to the season. Before having kids it was easy to make that commitment and now, where I still make it, I always factor in the desires of the family. As long as they are happy for me to carry on playing and putting that level of commitment in, then I’ll always sign. Additionally I ask myself if I have the spark and the desire to put in that level of commitment. If I can’t give 100% of myself, physically and emotionally, then there’s no point me wasting my coaches time, my teammates time and my time. Yes, during the season there are times when you want to say “fuck it” and give up, but there’s always been a desire to give two fingers to those thoughts and battle on.

 

Hockey is a sport that takes a lot. An awful lot. Not only is there the games and trainings during the season, but there’s also the conditioning work that takes place during the summer, during the season and any functions that the team has for fans and so on (OK I don’t attend many nights out, because I’m old and ugly and need all the beauty sleep I can get). Hockey takes up your weekends from September to April. The season literally consumes you and your free time and mind.

 

But what has hockey actually given back to me?

 

I’ll try and look at this from beyond just winning and friendships, though the first thing hockey has given me are the friendships, but it has given deeper meaning to it as well.

 

There’s nothing quite like sharing the comradery of a team and the fan-base that the team has. During the years I’ve played, I’ve made friends with people I probably wouldn’t have hung-out with and have discovered great personalities through the game. This in turn has opened me to be more accepting of people and has allowed me to in greater or lesser extent let go of some prejudices that I may have subconsciously held.

 

Hockey has also given me a family. Literally. I met my wife on a team night out when I was playing for the Southampton University team. Since meeting her and ultimately marrying her, we have had two wonderful children and she and the kids have added more meaning to life. But in addition, hockey has given me another family in the community that has been built around the team I play for.

 

Hockey has given me work ethic. The game in itself is honest. If you don’t put the work in, you will find the result on the scoreboard and you’ll feel quite shitty about it and yourself. The same applies to work outside of the rink. The game has taught me a lot about how to approach challenges and how to tolerate stress and disappointment. It has taught me that you keep going until you reach the ultimate goal.

 

It has given me resilience and perseverance: I’ve had a fair few injuries and I’ve persevered through them, always wanting to come back better and stronger. At times it has been difficult, sure, but at the end of the day I’ve learnt to rise above the pain and fight my way back into game shape. Hockey has also given me a higher than average pain threshold. Being able to play a game with a severe disc prolapse, playing a whole season with a fully torn labrum and ruptured bicep tendon takes some guts but you push through it, because you want to help the team win.

 

Additionally the game has taught me about health: About 4 years ago I realised that if I didn’t change the way I trained, the way I ate – and more importantly what I ate – I would not last a year. Since then I have discovered a healthier lifestyle and have managed to cut out many habits I had in the past. Because of hockey, I am now more conscious about the dietary choices I make on a daily basis and the way I listen to my body and maintain it – even if at times it seems like I disregard the body’s warning. I’m not an elite athlete, but I would like to think that I approach training and diet from a more athletic point of view.

 

 

 

Yes, hockey does take and demand a lot of you, but if you look beyond, it does give back an awful lot as well. I consider myself fortunate to be able to play and keep learning more.

Living off of hockey pt1: Cross Check Clothing

Cross Check Clothing has been producing Hockey inspired lifestyle apparel since 2012. Here’s a pic of me at the gym in one of their sleeveless tops

In a new series of posts, we will explore how people make a living out of hockey, not as players, but through various different ways. The saying goes that “hockey gives you a lot”, but how does that extend to those that are not players or work for a team. The aim of the series is to explore the impact hockey has had on people on a personal level and how it has helped them shape a business and a career on the edges of the game.

 

The first look at how Hockey has enabled a business is to look at Cross Check Clothing, a UK based hockey inspired lifestyle apparel brand, set up in 2012. Since inception, Cross Check has garnered a steady following and a loyal fan base from the UK hockey scene as well as abroad.

 

But how did the brand’s owner and creator Pete Weeks get into hockey and what made him start his own apparel company? A company that “does it for the kicks”, as Pete himself puts it, but at the same time churns out quality apparel and contributes to the visibility of hockey on the streets.

 

“I had an early introduction to hockey through family and I picked it up again when my step-son was five years old. He had developed an obsession with the NHL video games and we decided to take him to a game to see what he made of the sport in real life.”

 

Those who have followed Cross Check Clothing from its early days, will know that from those early days of taking his step son to games, it has become a regular occurrence to Pete and his family.

Please visit our sponsors for awesome hockey related swag.

So if hockey served as a way to spend time with family, where did the inspiration for hockey apparel come from? As Pete explains, he saw a niche in the market “I was shopping for hockey wear for my step-son and found that other than a few uninspiring North American brands, or NHL team wear, there was little in terms of what acknowledged hockey in the UK. After the initial idea I sat on it for a few months and decided to take the plunge.”

 

It might be safe to say that setting up a company to serve a niche in a niche sport is a risk, but was it a daunting experience? “I knew a fair bit about setting up businesses and how to go about getting stock and growing the name, it was a case of putting it all in place,” Pete explains. “I wasn’t nervous about the start-up, I was excited about the launch and cracking the whip on the design team and suppliers to get the stock in.”

 

“The first time I really started to panic was after a few weeks. We’d only had an order for about £3 and I started to wonder if we’d sell anything,” Pete explains. “Thankfully, we made some good friends early on who are still big parts of the brand and helped push us forward”.

 

 

But where does the inspiration come from. Pete says that Cross Check Clothing has similar aspirations as Vans and Quicksilver, brands that used to be rooted in skateboarding and surfing respectively, but have in the course of time appealed to a much, much wider audience. Is Cross Check looking to get to a similar level as these brands? “The merchandise we put out is lifestyle wear, so we aim for designs that we see anyone wearing,” Pete explains.

 

But what attracts people to the game? For Pete, the story is familiar to many who come to hockey games. “I think it’s the atmosphere at games, especially after a series of big hits, or a fight,” he explains. “I love the way momentum can shift in a game so quickly when players step up and it means you always have something to cheer for, even if the score of the game isn’t going your way.”

 

Additionally, the physicality and the demands of the game get a lot of respect from Pete. “When you see players throwing themselves in front of pucks and getting smashed into the boards night in, night out, it takes a lot and I have a huge amount of respect for that,”

 

A sampling of the Cross Check Clothing shirt collection

From working with Cross Check Clothing for the past two seasons, one of the things that appealed to the undersigned was the way the brand operates. It is very down to earth and personable. Everything the company does has a personal touch to it, whether it is the signed card with every delivery or their presence in social media. That is also true in the interactions. You know you are dealing with real people who really care deeply about what they do and the community within the game.

 

“Thankfully we’ve always been supported on everything we’ve done, which has allowed us to work on better products and much wider range. Every penny we make is re-invested back into the company to keep regular and better products coming out.” Pete explains the philosophy of the company.

 

But what of the future? Five years in to the journey of the brand, a fair share of ups and downs, but it is still going strong. What is the future for the company? “Be the headline sponsor of the NHL,” Pete says, laughingly. “To be honest we want to continue to grow with the friends we’ve made. Maybe in the future we will look to take the brand a bit further a field and meet some new exciting people in the process.”

 

 

So, that’s a story of a growing lifestyle brand that has its roots in the game of hockey in a nutshell. The journey Cross Check Clothing has been on has been quite extraordinary in the sense that they have continued to evolve and improve in what is a niche market, reaching people beyond hockey. The genuine attitude of the company towards their products is paramount to its success and the people in the UK hockey community certainly have embraced the brand. 

 

Their story is bound to continue for years to come.  

 Visit the Cross Check Clothing store at: https://shop.crosscheckclothing.co.uk/ 

Assembling a human: Putting together fragments from a brain injury

t has been almost seven years since I suffered my worst concussion to date. As many have read on the blog about the recovery and the initial trauma of the injury, I thought it would be interesting to do a piece on how life has moved on and find out, whether I was able to assemble a person from the fragments that were left as a result of the blow.

To recap briefly if you haven’t followed this blog long. I suffered a brain injury (which I refer to here as concussion) whilst playing hockey about seven years ago. I can’t remember much from the day it happened or the months following, but what the doctors told me is that I had a bleed in my brain and I was being monitored very closely by medical professionals. Being an idiot that I am, I ignored the doctors’ advice and caused myself more harm, returning to play after a week off (which was WAAAAY too soon). My symptoms were severe. I had to spend days in a darkened room due to intense photophobia, my head was pounding like I’d been on a week long bender, I was iritable, I could not remember what I’d done two minutes prior and I was laughing hysterically one minute, only to break down in tears the next. I felt I lost myself.

The recovery from the concussion took almost a year and a half, mainly because I refused to rest, so I suffered from headaches, dizziness and low mood/irritability for a long time. These symptoms are usually quite persistent in the early phase of concussions and should subside if you follow the appropriate recovery protocols.

In the early phases of the injury, my handwriting changed dramatically and my decision making was impaired. I also did things like try and dry myself after having a shower, whilst still standing underneath the shower. There were also difficulties associated with concentration and anything that required a prolonged period of attention, were difficult to deal with as I got a blistering headache from it.

However, now nearly seven years later, have I and my family managed to assemble a person of the mess that was left from the concussion? Neurologically, speaking I am fine. All my reactions and nervous system work as they should. Also, scans of my brain show no sign of permanent damage. That’s all well and good, however…

Despite getting a “clinical” all clear, I am still left dealing with concentration problems, usually in day to day life and at work. I am good at starting on a task, but then my mind wanders and I’m left thinking, what the hell it was that I was doing. Usually, I have to park the activity for a bit and come back to it once I catch the thread of my thought.

Additionally, some may have noticed in conversations with me that my eyes wander when I’m speaking to them. This again is associated with the concentration problem. Where I am listening to whoever I’m speaking to and paying attention, it is a monumental challenge to maintain eye contact. So, if you are speaking to me, and I’m not looking at you, please don’t be offended.

It is weird as when it comes to game day and the minutes leading up to when we take to the ice, that’s where I find I’m most focussed. Though having said that, it too has been an area where I’ve struggled. I’ve since been seeing a sports psychologist and have been using various techniques from hypnotherapy to NLP to help me achieve a better level of focus before games. I have to do the same in professional life when it is time to give a presentation, for example.

Prior to the concussion I had a pretty good memory. I would be able to recite circulation figures of publications, who the editor of a magazine was, which player played with what number and what sticks they used etc. Today… No chance. I struggle to remember names of people I’ve done business with for a long time and also I get easily confused on how many reps or sets I’ve done at the gym, despite having a workout log in front of me.

I am also maybe a touch more irritable than I was seven years ago. I seem to let little things get to me and eat away at me for days on end. However, I’m not a 100% convinced that my irritability is due to the brain injury, as my close friends and family have often described me as the most wound-up laidback person they know prior to the injury.  

The other aspect which has become more prominent in the wake of the concussion are my depressive cycles. I had been battling depression before the injury, but it seems like it has exasperated the problem, in that my depressive ‘episodes’ are more frequent and tend to be a quick decline, rather than something that happens gradually. Another issue which I remember vividly from the symptoms was that I looked myself in the mirror one day, must’ve been 2-3 months after the initial injury and I broke down in tears. I remember telling my wife that I don’t like the person that is staring back at me in the mirror and that I wanted to change. It was almost like the line in the Springsteen song Dancing in the dark: “I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face”. Body image was never really a big deal to me, but that was a defining moment in my life and I still have the same feeling everytime I see myself in the mirror. And that is despite losing loads of weight and putting on more muscle. With depression, I’ve reached a good place and have become better at identifying when I’m starting to ‘lose it’ and can seek to rectify it. I am likely to eat pills for this for the rest of my life. With the body image thing… who knows.

Coordination is something that has been affected. It may be brash to say that it’s all coordination. I am completely fine and in control when I’m playing, working out, driving etc. I’m absolutely fine, but tell me to do start jumps, I’m boned. I get there eventually, but I have to run through everything in my mind as to how it all comes together.

Those are in the main the areas where I still struggle a bit or that I know that have changed. What of the answer to the question: Am I still the same person as I was before the concussion? The answer is no. And to be truthfully honest, no one would be after 7 years. I feel I’ve grown and evolved as a person since then so it is impossible to say whether or not I am the same as I was back then. To what extent the concussion affected that process, I don’t know. but it definitely had an impact.

However, what I do know is that I am incredibly lucky in that my injury was not as bad as some of the ones I’ve seen while I was recovering. In comparison, I felt like a fraud next to people who are having to re-learn to walk, eat, write etc. The drive these people have is astonishing and I have nothing but the highest levels of admiration and respect for people who are going through that level of arduous recovery. 

 

However, whether or not me and those around me have managed to assemble a person of the fragments that were left: I think we’ve done alright. It hasn’t been easy, particularly in the early weeks and months post injury, but I’m a relatively respectable citizen.

 

Review: TRUE A6.0 SBP Stick

When TRUE first let us test the original A6.0 and A5.2 sticks it was a revelation of what hockey sticks could and should be like. This was then followed by the X-Core 9, which we still view as one of – if not THE – best sticks on the market. TRUE has given us the A6.0 SBP to try and we’ve been finding out if it is the old A6.0 with a cherry on top or a complete overhaul.

The A6.0SBP does not come with TRUE’s X-Core technology but features other technologies in the blade that have been designed to make your shot harder. To benchmark this stick we’ve gone back to our original TRUE A6.0 review (a stick that was donated to a fan after winning the league) and Warrior Covert QRL. We benchmarked the QRL against the X-Core and found that the two sticks were pretty much on par with each other. Can TRUE pull one out of the bag and out-do the QRL?

In terms of TRUE’s tree-chart of sticks, the A series is aimed for providing Strength, Balance and Power (SBP) making it a shooter’s stick (think Bauer’s X1) and the X-Core series is aimed to provide accuracy, control and feel, with TRUE billing it as the playmaker’s stick.

Design:

In comparison to the Original A6.0 stick, the A6.0SBP is a flashier stick and has more design elements to it. It stays true to TRUE’s brand of using almost neon blue and grey design, which helps it stand out from the crowd. Like we mentioned in the Warrior QRL review, TRUE has always been more about performance than about the bling factor of a white stick with a fancy blade decal.

As with all design related things, the beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, but we really like the design of the A6.0SBP and would go as far as to say that it’s a handsome stick when you put it up against some of the others. You get a great combination of decals as well as the cool element of seeing the carbon fibre twill.

Feel:

When first holding the stick out of wrappers, it feels lightweight. The A6.0SBP is the same weight as its predecessor and ranks right up there with the Warrior, with both weighing in at around 400grams. Comparing the SBP to the original A6.0 it feels like the balance of the stick has been improved. The original A6.0 was a well balanced stick, but on the A6.0SBP the feeling of balance is better.

The lightweight construction of the stick makes it easy to use and stick handle, much like the Warrior QRL. However, in TRUE’s case we felt that we can get a bit more feedback from the blade and that the blade is more rigid than on the Warrior. This is thanks to the BRT blade on the stick (more on that later). Also the shaft of the stick feels that it gives you more.

This is in part thanks to TRUE’s SmartPly technology, the stick is well balanced and durable. The durability aspect is always key point to consider for any hockey player, but with the TRUE stick we’ve found that despite taking a few rather vicious hacks and slashes of the shaft it does last. However, as a disclaimer, it is always worth noting that virtually all sticks do break at some point. TRUE has done a great job in terms of producing a stick that goes that extra mile in terms of durability in a jungle of sticks waving at it.  

Shooting:

What we have found interesting in the TRUE A6.0SBP is TRUE’s Smartflex. The Smartflex technology allows for stiffness distribution from any shooting position. It feels almost like similar type of technology that CCM successfully used in its RBZ sticks and we really love it. The Smartflex is one of the real highlights of the A6.0SBP stick as it offers you almost a customised flex from the shaft.

In terms of shots, we were surprised at the ease of getting a decent shot off. Much like with the QRL that we tested, the TRUE A6.0SBP doesn’t need huge efforts to load for a quick wrister or snap shot. Thanks to the lightweight of the stick, you can get a better, quicker swing on your slapshots and much thanks to the flex of the shaft, they carry some immense power behind them.

In non-game situations and no goalie in net, it is easy to pick the top corners with this stick. In fact, what we found is that the shot almost automatically goes into that sweet-spot just where the cross bar starts to bend to the post. Sometimes even with hardly any load in behind the shot, it still amazes us just how much velocity you can get behind the shot with the A6.0 SBP.

Blade:

The blade on the original A6.0 was already amazing, but with the A6.0SBP, TRUE has made it 50% stronger than the A6.0. The blade features a Braided Rib Technology, which in essence means that the stick has seamless braided tubes running through the blade, making it stiffer. We have been using the stick now for good four to five months and the blade is still as stiff and responsive as it was the day we pulled it out of the wrappers.

In that respect TRUE has kept things the same and to this date, it is the only stick that feels newer for longer. For example, an X-Core 9 we used throughout last season still has the same performance as when first used, despite the several scuffs sustained in game play.

When we first reviewed the A6.0, we likened it to the Sher-Wood Rekker EK15, but in many respects TRUE has moved the game on from there. The A6.0SBP has maintained the great feel throughout our test period and is definitely one of the best sticks on the market in this regard. In game play and training the does provide you with the new stick feel – in terms of pop – for a long time. When you connect with a puck the shot has good velocity with it.

Conclusion:

The True A6.0SBP is not a mere minor improvement on an existing range of sticks. What TRUE has done is completely overhauled the popular stick and has made it even better and put more into it that delivers performance. When we originally reviewed the A6.0 we said that TRUE would be a name to watch and in the space of a few short years, we are more than confident in saying that TRUE has gone from a new comer to a company that produces perhaps the best sticks on the market.

So how does it compare against the Warrior QRL? Again this is a really close call, but we would say that the TRUE stick has the upper hand due to a few elements, mainly due to the BRT blade and the way the stick performs on the ice. The other elements that swing the vote TRUE’s way is the Smartflext technology and the price of the TRUE stick gives you slightly more that the QRL with not as much money.

In terms of overall performance, the A6.0 SBP is probably the best stick we’ve tested to-date. And that’s saying something as we absolutely love the X-Core, but the A6.0SBP has a slight edge over the X-Core. If other stick manufacturers weren’t worried about TRUE before, they better be now.

If anything negative has to be said about the stick (It’s grip coated by the way) it is the grip coating feels almost a bit too rubbery. It does give you good grip but to us, it’s almost too much grip.

While TRUE may not yet have as many NHL players using their sticks as CCM or Bauer, but the numbers are steadily growing (see Mitch Marner of the Maple Leafs recently picking up a TRUE twig). More and more players however, are discovering TRUE, which is good news for the company and the stick market, which risked being saturated by a few major players and faced lack of any real innovation. TRUE has been able to innovate with all of its stick launches and continues to produce the best sticks on the market.

Pros:
· Superb blade structure

· Great feel on the shaft and puck

· Shooting made easy

· Right price-quality point.

· Not a minor improvement over original A series, but a complete overhaul
Cons:
· Grip coating feels rubbery

 

Without competition, there is no progression

Without competition, there is no progression” – This was a line from August Burns Red song “The First Step” (from their rather awesome album Rescue & Restore). As that line blared through my headphones at the gym and I had to stop my workout for a bit and start taking stock of the line. Without competition, there is no progression. I put the societal, corporate and capitalist ramifications of the line aside and considered it purely from a sports point of view.

Nowadays at the gym, I prefer to workout alone. I used to enjoy working out with a good friend of mine, but since he’s moved to Canada, those workouts are quite difficult. For me working out on my own is a release and I can focus on my own goals and objectives and keep to my tight regimen as opposed to having to wait for a workout partner to finish their set before I get to have a go. After a hard day, all my stress and everything is taken away by the iron. But as my workouts are geared towards hockey, a competitive team sport, how do I progress as a lone wolf at the gym?

In the main, I compete with myself at the gym. I normally suck at math and avoid anything to do with numbers like the plague, but when it comes to working out, my competition is to better what I’ve done the week before, the month before or even the year before. What I also do – and this is going to make me sound like an utter dickwad – is to compete against other hockey players I know that use the gym.

I may not know the players personally, but I know them from having played against them or having watched them play. Now, I’m fully aware that different people work to different programs at different paces and I respect that. I have my areas of focus, where another player has their own. But, by and large, the exercises and lifts that we do are the same. The way I compete (and this is without even them knowing that I’m competing with them), is to check how much they are lifting and make sure that I lift more than they do. I want to make sure that the conditioning work that I’m doing is ahead of what they do, whether they play in the same league, a higher league or lower. For me this level of competition has allowed me to push myself further. If it is a player that I know plays in the same league as I do, it is about sending a message. A message that I will out work you in the gym and I will outwork you on the ice.

Also, there is some sort of glee and I guess a dick headed alpha-male attitude in knowing that you can do deadlifts for more reps with higher weight than a pro player.

But where I’ve perhaps had the competition/progress relationship wrong is in on ice training. Don’t get me wrong, whenever I am out there, I go hard till I have nothing left in the tank, but maybe I don’t pick similar competitions as I do in the gym when in training and perhaps that is what I should start seeking to do. Whether it is to outskate certain players in drills that focus on speed or start keeping score on who has scored more goals in training, me or another randomly selected player.

It’s all well and good to play to my strengths on the ice in trainings and keep bringing high energy and intensity, but what if I ‘competed’ with my team mates in the same sense that I do in the gym with other lifters. Perhaps, I should start looking to bring more of my gym mentality to the ice as well and see whether that works. The only thing that I worry about is whether or not my competitiveness and being a sore-loser will eat away at my overall progress. But I think it is worth a shot. To start pushing myself even more and to achieve some of the goals that I’ve set for myself.

It is also said that satisfaction is the death of progress and in many ways I live by this ethos. However, I think I need to add more to the mix to start making more on ice gains and to evolve myself as a player.

As the last line in ABR’s First step says:

Evolve, or die.

Review: TRUE 6.0 SBP Z-Palm Gloves

When TRUE Hockey unveiled its Z-Palm glove, it set the hockey world ablaze on social media. People were intrigued and amazed at the design of the glove and were at awe to the potential solution to the age old problem with hockey gloves: The worn out palms.

TRUE Z-Palm gloves feature a unique design element in that you can replace the palm of the glove with relative ease. At a recent hockey convention the fastest time recorded was 25 seconds for a change of palm. So it all sounds good as an idea and in principle, but does it actually work, or does the zip included in the glove make it uncomfortable to wear? Are there any flaws in the glove? Is it really a stroke of genius or a flash in the pan product?

We have been testing the TRUE  6.0SBP Z-Palm gloves for a few months now to find out what the gloves are about and to find out if TRUE has managed to solve the problem that plagues many hockey players across the globe.

Imagine the scene, you have broken in your gloves and they are comfortable as anything on your hands. Then through wear and tear, the palm develops a hole. You might get it re-palmed or covered up, which can sometimes make the overall feel of the glove awkward, or you ignore it and let the hole grow until you fork out for a new pair. It’s a cycle that players go through regularly. Some do it after every season, some mid season and those that are lucky, will hold out until there is no palm left on their glove before they buy new ones.

The benchmark glove we’re testing these against is the Warrior AX1 gloves as this set of gloves, in our opinion is the best in the market in terms of the 4-roll look and feel.  The current CCM 4-roll gloves provide a good feel and a good level of protection, but the Warrior AX1 is the better all-round fit at the moment and we are benchmarking the TRUE 6.0 SBP Pro Z-Palm glove against the Warrior AX1.

Out of the box

Out of the box the TRUE A6.0 Z-Palm gloves feel comfortable when you first put them on. The materials within the

glove are breathable and feel comfortable against your skin. The gloves, similar to the Warrior ones, have an almost ready-broken in feel. The TRUE gloves feel like you could walk away from the store and jump straight into a game.

The gloves we tried came with the standard Z-palm palms. The palm felt a little bit thicker and almost heavier than on some of the other gloves. However, on the flipside, the standard Z-palms do provide you with good levels of grip and the materials used in the palms are of high quality. The first impression was, however, that the material might not be as breathable as on the AX1 gloves.

Otherwise, the design of the gloves is minimalistic, but when you look at it and feel the materials, you are confident that you are holding a premium product.

Comfort and Fit:

As mentioned the, materials used in the Z-Palm gloves give you a comfortable feel. The outer shell of the glove comprises of 24mm pro-grade EPP foam and 1mm PE Inserts, which gives you additional protection as most gloves on the market use 20mm size padding in their gloves.

The inner liner of the glove feels comfortable to the hand and is right up there with all the ‘big-boys’. The gloves provide high levels of comfort without sacrificing protection or adding weight. In terms of fit, we have been testing the 13” glove and it fits perfectly well. The only real niggle we’ve come across with them in comparison to your ‘standard’  gloves is that the inner padding and liner can move around when changing the palms, which will lead to some fiddling. It’s not a major flaw by any stretch of the imagination.

What is quite different in comparison to other gloves is the range of movement you get from the thumb. We would argue that the thumb area is more flexible than in others, and certainly we felt that we got a better grip on the stick than compared to other makes of gloves.

Protection:

Gloves are used to protect. That is their main job and in game and training situations, the TRUE gloves perform as you would expect. As mentioned above, the thumb area of the glove is quite flexible. To combat hyperextension injuries that are often result of a fall, TRUE has integrated a protection mechanism, the Trueflex thumb. It is fairly standard in all makes of gloves, but on the TRUE gloves the hyperextension protection is longer and sturdier. For example in the Warrior AX1 and Sher-Wood gloves, you can hyper extend the thumb before you notice that there is anything stopping the motion. With the Trueflex you feel the protection is there and you will be hard pressed to hyperextend the thumb. However, it is important to note that in any piece of equipment features such as these don’t guarantee that they are sure to eliminate injuries, but should significantly reduce the risk.

In fact, the beauty of the Trueflex thumb is in the flexibility of the thumb. You are able to get a far better grip on the stick straight away when you start using the gloves thanks to being able to close your hand into a near-perfect fist in the glove. On other gloves, the thumb is often quite rigid and even on the Warrior gloves which allow for some thumb movement, it doesn’t come close to the TRUE gloves in terms of the grip you are able to get on the stick. This is by far superior when compared to the latest offerings from CCM, Warrior and Bauer.

In terms of the other protective elements, the gloves provide protection on par with top manufacturers in the segment. Thanks to the additional 4mm of padding in the TRUE gloves, you are better off. The protection around the wrist is good, as well as the padding around the fingers. TRUE has achieved a great level of protection whilst not sacrificing comfort of the glove.

Owning:

What we think make the TRUE Z-Palm gloves worth owning is the fact that you can customise your gloves with different palms. You can get the 4-roll look and feel whilst being able to enjoy palm materials usually reserved for anatomically designed gloves.

If you want long life out of your protective equipment, you do need to look after it. One thing that we did notice on few of the palms, mainly in the Pro and grip versions of the palm it can take a while for them to dry out. If you have back to back games, you might come to find that the palm area is still a little damp from the night before.

Having discussed this with TRUE, it is recommended that you partially unzip the palm to allow more air flow through the glove. We have since tried this trick and have noticed that it does indeed speed up the drying process of the glove.

Fitting the palm

The burning question then: how easy is it to replace the palm? Well, we haven’t gotten anywhere near the record time that was set at the exhibition, but it is safe to say that you can do a pair of gloves in between periods if needs be and you’ll have time to listen to instructions from the coaches as well.

Removing a palm is easy and effortless. Here TRUE has done a good job with the design of the glove as the entire palm side of the glove opens up, which helps immensely with the changing process and the zips do not interfere with comfort of the glove.

However, attaching a new palm is something that takes a bit of getting used to. The first few times of putting on a new palm were a little bit of troublesome, but as with everything practice makes perfect. The challenge we’ve faced is in the fitting of a new palm. Once you get to the middle finger, you need to ensure that you keep the zip as straight as possible as there is a tendency of it getting stuck.

What might be an overlooked design element here is that the zip is positioned quite cleverly so that it should not be easily damaged during the game. The only way we see that the Z-palm design could be compromised is by someone stepping/skating on/over your glove from the palm side and by that stage, you’ll have other things on your mind as opposed to a zip.

Overall, the changing process is easy enough, even if putting on a new palm is the more difficult one of the changing process.

Conclusion:

In the past we have called TRUE Hockey as a new-comer to the hockey market, but in the space of few short years, the company has established itself with innovative products in both sticks and now protective equipment in gloves.

The Z-Palm gloves is something that other manufacturers and players will be looking at with envy. The design looks great, they gloves feel great, but the real beauty of the TRUE A6.0 SBP Pro gloves is the Z-Palm innovation. By buying a pair of gloves, you are essentially buying five pairs. You have greater level of customisation opportunities to you and you can try new styles of palms without it costing you a new pair of gloves. The Z-Palm gives you longevity for the gloves as you don’t need to replace the gloves, but rather just the palm. If you are looking for gloves that provide you with good levels of protection, mobility the TRUE gloves should be on your shopping list. What will tip it in TRUE’s favour over any other manufacturer is the Z-Palms. Like said, by buying a set of TRUE gloves, you are essentially buying five pairs of gloves at once, all thanks to the customisation options the Z-Palm affords you.

In comparison to the Warrior AX1 gloves, the TRUE A6.0 SBP Pro Z-Palm gloves stack up equally well. The TRUE glove could end up costing you a bit less (depending on retailer) and you get a bit more for your money thanks to the Z-Palms. In terms of fit and comfort, the gloves are pretty much equal, though we have found the TRUE glove is slightly more breathable in games and training. Both gloves use odour eliminating technologies as well, with TRUE opting for Microban technology, while Warrior uses Polygenie, and to be fair, you would not be able to tell the difference. It is a close call when comparing the gloves like for like, but thanks to the price and the Z-Palm we would recommend the TRUE A6.0 SBP Pro Z-Palms. You get a premium, top-end pro product at a good price point and thanks to the replaceable palms, you get more for you money.